I don't want them to grow up too quickly and miss what being young and carefree is all about.
I want them to enjoy it all. But being their mom, I want to be part of their enjoyment too...So far so good.
My other children- the Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retrievers

Friday, 10 September 2010

What if...

I haven't been very kind to my chickens lately, the real ones. Actually I have been ignoring them but they have surprised me by laying really big eggs all week.

What if I ignore them for so long that all the eggs every day become extra large? Would that be a problem? Maybe to the chickens, I can't imagine cranking out super sizes everyday would be much fun.

What if I ignore other things? I haven't spent much time with my daughter this week except in the kitchen as she has wanted to do a bit of baking and I like to supervise as I multi task other things around us. We chat but we haven't really spent too much quality time together since she went back to school. I think she was trying to get my attention yesterday though when she sent me a text from school in the afternoon-

' Can I stay after school today?' Her.
' No, get on bus pls,' me.
'But I want to go with Lauren to get her belly button pierced,' her.
'NO WAY,' me.

This came through while I was at my grown up book club lunch discussing The House of Mirth. For a split second I felt like I was in someone elses world. Book club ladies politely chuckled as I read it out. I think I will be asked to leave the book club.

What if I don't give teenage girl chick the right attention, will I become the Mother Hen to a multi pierced rebel who likes to bake? Luckily tattoos are out as she has an incredible phobia of needles, it doesn't stop her talking about them though.

The other big What if problem I have had this week is with Rooster. We have been spending a lot of time together this week because he put gas in his diesel tank and we are down to one car. My 'clubman', and we have been driving each other around so to share it. Sweet right? Fat chance. It's a pain in the ass but we talk in the car and that's good. But not yesterdays conversation. It went something like this-

'What if we are bad parents and it's are fault that our(16 year old young rooster) son is like he
is?' Rooster.
Foot on break as I am driving, to slow down in order to process what Rooster has just said to me.
'I thought we agreed that we were good parents and his mistakes were his own lazy ass's fault?' me
'But we lead by example' him.
'So I am disorganised, lazy, bored and don't care what my future holds?' me, now speeding up.
Thank god rooster said 'no, not you' or I might have put us in a ditch.

But what if our parenting skills have just not sunk in in general? That is a problem. We thought we were okay parents and gave young rooster the right amount of attention and nurturing over the years. But maybe we were making a bigger problem.

Young rooster walked home from school on Monday afternoon ( he started Monday morning) with a friend. Since my car wasn't in the driveway he didn't know I was home. We opened the door together and his face was shocked. I was smiling but when I say his face, mine became less amused. You see, I can read him like a book. He was up to something, sneaking home. I let it pass but then found him rooting around in the pantry with his coat still on and when I found him shoving something into his pocket, I went in, told him that I didn't care what it was but to put it back and go back to school, friend and all.

'But we were bored at school' he says.
Well, when I pointed the dreaded finger towards the door without speaking, I think they got the hint and left.

Later in the week, I picked him up for his night home and I didn't see his new L6 suit, just his over night bag. See where this is going? I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

'Did you leave your new suit in your room?' me.
'No, it's in here' him!
I blah,blah, blahed him all the way home on the principle that he said knew how to take care of his new, lovely, wool suit that he looks really handsome in.
'But I folded it up first' he said  like a ten year old.

So what if we have got it wrong with him? The pre back to school talk about responsibility and maturity and organising yourself and crappy GCSE grades talk obviously flew right by him. He seemed so positive for a brief moment during that talk, we had hope as parents.  Have we ignored that the chicken might have a problem and he's cranking out super sizes all on his own? 

As parents, we can say so much to them but really, they can only take in so much. It is so hard and frustrating to be responsible for other people, especially your own flesh and blood. What if you never know if you are getting it right?

On a lighter note, I have enrolled puppy, Cadi and I onto puppy classes. I thought I might not ignore obedience problems and get this one right. It could be pretty funny as there are all sizes in the class from a Pug puppy to an Irish Wolf Hound puppy. It could be something to blog about.

Off to do some baking to ease my mind- Orange and chocolate scones.

1 comment:

  1. I was a nightmare when I was 16 years old - wretched. I stole my passport and travelled to the US during day several times - my parents thought I was at the beach when, infact, I was in Miami. Dumb things were key in my teen years. But I got it together in the end and now spend my days and nights wondering if my children are going to turn out all right. They will - and so will yours! As parents, we can only set down a foundation and then they have to build the rest of their life.